welcome to Z A S C H Y's W O R L D!

i wanted it to last. one night wasnt enough. i missed it. so much. we haven't been crazy like that for a long time... the jokes, the laughter, the revelations and bull craps.. its all good and it felt great! almost everybody was there except for one. things happen.. but im sure she'll be there on the next one; which i hope will come soon. 

this will be a crazy week for the wedding preparation. a lot has to be done. we only have few weeks to go and the days are moving fast. but im calm now coz i have an official wedding coordinator for that day. and i know its gonna be alright. i hope.

 

i cant seem to make da 12 midnite deadline. i always log on past that time so i keep missing my daily blog. oh well... i suddenly felt like an alien among my friends today as if i dunno them at all. i jas realized how much they've changed. i ges, they've finally matured. finally. ha! i remember that i used to always complain about those childish things they do. but honestly, its the one reason i got stuck with them. i get to be a child again. i can do childish things and not care about what they'll think of me coz they do the same. but now... so mature.. so not like them. but u know what struck me tonight!? it was when my most immature friend told me that he has changed for the sake of others.. meaning his son. whoa! since when did that happen!?! i guess after 7 years he finally realized how immature he was and decided to be a mature and responsible DAD. or maybe it was forced by nature because his wife left him. oh i dunno... all i know is that something weird happened here and changed all the people and things that i love. its no longer the paradise that i used to run to whenever i want to get away from reality. i hate it! i want everything back to how it was before! i hate it!

ok i know i sed imma do a daily blog starting monday but stuff came up and i wasnt able to. Tuesday, d 11th was my grandfather's bday so i had to stay there. Wednesday was my best friend's baby's 1st bday so i had to be there too. Not only did i attended the bday, i also distributed my invitations. I dint get home til' past 12mn on both days. So there goes my explanation as to why i missed blogin' on both days. Hope u noted that i distributed my invitations... yes!!! this is forreal naw. im actually inviting people to be at the wedding naw so there's no turning back. Im a bit nervous, i dunno why.. im still in panic mode. I need a long and hard massage... i need a facial, manicure, pedicure and some hair stuff.. i dont really know what to do with my hair but i gotta make it look nice. The prenup pictorial is comin'.. i hafto look good in it =) ofcourse!! so right naw im heading to a spa and melt my worries away in da steam room. Hope this typhoon dont blow me away. C yah!

exactly A MONTH from tomorrow, i will be a lawful wedded wife.. sounds funny n weird isnt it!? i think so.. i still cant believe this is happening.. i suddenly felt the rush.. i think im beginning to panic.. oh god! i still have so much things to do.. and i only have a MONTH left to do it all... aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa aaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhh hhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!! lets see.. come next month il be in the hotel waiting for sunrise. i dont think i can sleep.. with all the things that'll be in my mind, i dont think il have the luxury of sleep.. but i need it tho.. i need a lot. well starting today i've decided to keep a daily blog until that day.. i need someplace to vent all these emotions.. so, see u tom.

i cant beliv we reached this stage..10 years! im so proud of us.. so proud of all our accomplishments.. and most especially, im so proud because we were able to guide this relationship well enough to make it today... ten years! sounds like a long time doesnt it!? well, it prolly is.. but when i think about the past and look back, it felt like we jas started yesterday.

how did it all started?? lemme try and trace back... oh yeah, with a simple phone call... my then "newly found" frend hooked us up.. he was frends with her brother.  it took him more than a couple of attempts, but sure enuf, the day finally came when he got a hold of me.. it was brief, a tad awkward, but pleasant enuf to bring us to formally meet the next day.  the first meeting was also brief but his persuasion paid off when he waited til' the wee school hours just to take me home.. then the dating came.. it was surprisingly easy.. we immediately got at ease with each other that we never again felt the awkwardness like our first meeting.. after long hours of phone conversation, the days of courtship turned to months, then the perfect walk in the park... march 17, 1996... it was freezing cold but we suddenly felt the warm after our first kiss..  we exchanged "i love you's.."  and it felt like summertime came early! it was a high that never wore off.. the feeling of elation that u cant get rid of... then we realize we were really inlove... so much that we were able to see us today.  although getting here wasnt easy, there were hurdles, or as a matter of fact, we had the great wall of china in our way but thank god, we were excellent climbers that we made it through the rain (wow! my fave song frum barry..)...  so here we are 10 years later, about to embark to yet another adventure in our lives.... i know that it wont be easy, but because of all these years as our solid foundation, it will keep us standing so im assured we'll make it thru..

here's a toast for us babe, for the next 100 years.... i love you!

 

well, its exactly 5 mos, 29 days, 16 hours and 58 minutes before my big day.. im getting a bit excited to get to that day, and a bit stressed out, not with the planning, but with things that hafto be accomplished before and after.  And some people around me aren't just unwilling to help, but has chosen to be a pain n d ass...  i dunno wat da fag is wrong dem, but its pissing me off big time! i know now is not the time to anger the wrinkles, but one f these days im jas gonna hafto hurt someone!!!

thank god for my dear wedding planner, my very own tta pinks, becoz she has made everything so easy for me... so far everythings in place and most of the things are taken care of, besides the gown and men's outfits.. fortunately i am able to get there with enough time to handle the rest...

it is true that come this special time of your life, unpleasant things tend to happen... im just trying to take it all in and pray to god for it all to pass... oh how i need more help... please help god, help!..... surprisingly, things doesnt only happen to me, but to my oder half too.. i was shocked to witness da fight las nite.. it came rite out of the blue.. or, actually, it came from the contents of the liquor bottle... but to hear his frend cuss like that! damn! i was ready to shut him up.. but ofkors itll jas make da conflict more complicated so i jas chose to shut up, and comfort da better man.  i hope they make up tho.. its a waste to throw all those years of frendship for some nonsense... but i agree that its his frend who shud take da first step.. he started it.. and under da influence.... we'll see.
that's a wrap.

 

its finally here! i know its late, but HAPPY NEW YEAR TO ALL!

here's my list of to do's:
1. review for lsat
2. register for lsat
3. review for lsat again
4. take the lsat
5. pass the freakin' lsat
6. drinking party for passing the lsat (hehehe...)
7. PARTY.... until august
8. be a wife
9. learn how to be a good wife
10. learn how to be an effective wife.. (haha!)
11. learn........
12. .... i dunno what else to write....

dang! its da mocha latte thats talking.. i gotta go to sleep! well, good nite.. maybe tomorrow ill make sense... good nite!

ok.. i dunno if i shud be jealous or jas be irritated..  because she went out her way just to be able to get her what "she" wants and that "she" can bring it home too; because eventhough she hasn't really met her in person, she makes it a point to suck-up to her whenever she can.  i dont understand that bcoz i am here, me whom she owes some recognition and appreciation..  im not saying she shudnt.. all i need is equality.. i deserve that right?? i think i do... i know i do.. to think ill soon be............

oh forget it. she suck!!!!

i feel awful.. i think im catching a cold or something.. my throat hurts.. oh well.. maybe my antibodies are jas a tad tired coz ive only had 4 hours of sleep las nite.. nevermind that..... im freakin pissed off!! i wasted my day doin nuthin.. so as a punishment, again, i am depriving myself of sleep.. hehehe... dunno y i do that, i jas do.. im crazee arent i.. i ges i am.

2006 is fast approaching.. however, i dont feel anything as of yet.  im still preoccupied with other things to even be stressed about the planning.. but so far its goin ok.. aside from the annoying fact that we hafto move it again..[ i dont wanna get with the details anymore..] im jas happy that my brother will go before me.. its just that now i hafto move everything that ive already booked for that day.. thank god for my dear wedding assistant(s) who never fail in helping me out.  come two weeks from now im gonna stress on save-the-date cards.. i dont even know where ill get it from or whose gonna make it for me, all i know is that i hafto get it out by this month becoz most of da people will file their vacation in january.. i hafto do it this month.  hafto.  wats next.. LSAT! fuck that! maybe il jas try to wing that.. haha! NOT.  my application needs to be filed, and my UCC cert request i hafto file.. and i also hafto argue with the stupid accounting dept becoz they frigin' stole my money.. that school's a freakin' a-hole!! robbed me with my $200+!! freakin greedy!  so, yeah, that's part of my agenda.  then i have my bills to take care of.. shit! i dont wanna get into that either.. its annoying.. i need a fucking accountant! someone.. anyone who can take care of my finances.. not that i have tons of money, i have lots of bills that needs paying.. i can pay, its just that i have no time.. help!?! anyone?! oh well...... and there's the paper dues.. shit! point taken. all this crap gets in my head nite after nite which, beliv or not, made me develop migrain.. or i ges thats normal.. i dunno.. i ges.

lemme jas take myself someplace calm and quite.. hmmnn.. all i can think of is ian's arms.. him hugging me and telling that im the one.  quite amazing.. i cant beliv, almost 10 years! beat that! im happy.. we've had our good and not so good days.. but its only the good days that matters.. the not so good ones are jotted down to fatigue.. when we butt heads its because we're jas both tired.. tired to even make sense of each other and understand each other.. but we know how to kiss and make up.. we know when to give each other space... and when not to.. which is whenever we have a fight that needs immediate attention.. cant explain which ones and what kind they are, but they happen..

im too sleepy.. i dont even know what the hell im talking about.  i prolly wont even remember this in the morning.. haha! im drunk with sleepinessss... good nite y'all.

that's it! im done... im sick of the complaints and doubts.... they can think whatever they want, i cud care less...

I JUST WANNA GET IT OVER WITH..... dang!